Mind Over Matter

I don't know what it is but right now I'm at peace. I'm at peace with knowing that even though my future is not set in stone my mind is right and my heart is ready to absorb. Ugh well this blog will have to wait at the current moment I am distracted by my bf and his friend muff to be continued..

Why Cheat?

So I’m simply here to ask why do people cheat? Is it that temptation is just too strong? Is it a secret desire to want what we can’t have or want something someone else already has? Is it some hidden insecurity that we justify with the malicious of making sure that our self-needs are satisfied? The truth is whatever it is plain and simple it ain't right!! Even people who are in the act (maybe as I write) know it just ain't right there is no justification for the sticky mess that you have just sucked yourself into and there is no freedom in knowing that you have gotten away with such foolish behavior, the truth is cheating effects everyone involved and that’s the bottom line. So you're probably thinking why do I write so knowledgeably TRUTH BE TOLD I HAVE CHEATED yeah that’s they plain truth I have cheated my friends, my self and worse of all the one person that I confided in. the thing is that if I lived with the guilt of cheating forever I would not be able to be as happy as a I am today but as I sit watching Carrie on Sex in the City jungle between two men I think back to the conversation I had with my friend on Friday about my guilt and how I feel that even though my acquaintance doesn't know that me and her man got down for a while (NOT SEX) I have a sense of peace within myself because the truth is god has forgiven me even before it happened he just needed me to acknowledge it for myself and move on and honestly I have even; though I look her in thek eye and still feel guilt I can live with myself because the truth is I serve a loving God and he knows I sin but he is always there to catch me when I fall and this isolated incident has only made me stronger. Now I face the demon again because the guy I cheated with has been separated from me but when were together everyone knows no one can deny the connection that defines us as "friends" we have a friendship like no other, strong even with time and full of laughter and roller coasters. I don't know why I can go two months not seeing him and the day we see each other it’s like we have to pry each other apart in order to move away from each other why does the force of nature draw us so close to each other what is the purpose...well I may never know but to my friend..acquaintance whatever from the bottom of my heart I AM TRULY SORRY if the shoe was on the other foot only god knows what I would do but if someday you do find out I truly hope you can forgive me well I sign off for now keep your heads up and god first. 

Happy blogging and much luv.

-Dee

My Nigga

... my nigga (yes I said it) let me repeat myself my nigga, what makes you think it's okay to play with our emotions? What makes you think that because you got balls you can throw them to whatever base you want (yes I said that and lol)? I mean seriously though what makes you think it's okay to have a "sudden" epiphany, change of heart, or period of confusion. Whatever you niggas like to call that crap...look all I got to say is shoot ya'll niggas keep playing your games because THE NON NIGGA I have been lookin for is right around the corner ready to take your place, ready to wine and dine my fine behind, and I ain't talking about no 24-hr drive through McDonalds before the night is over booty call type of dining. I'm talkin about the type of dining niggas drop they jaw for when you happen to see my fine a** on facebook with a non-nigga who knows how to keep his lol. So everyone's probably like wtf am I reading all this gibberish about niggas...man if you dont know what I am talking about AMEN to you, but to girls stuck (or who dont realize they deserve better) you most definitely know of this nigga type I am talking about..but dont play me I am no nigga hater because I stand corrected I love my men and mine in particular has just been slipping out of this nigga behavior so definitely props to him :) but this aint about him this is about all my friends who come crying to me waterfall tears about their damnn nigga a** boyfriends. Man obviously they need to be left exactly as you found them lil "boy's" that happen to be your "friend" .... wait, wait and I got a word for my good men who get played by girls who still playing tricks and running games please please let them heffas know that tricks are for kids and if they don't trust you, they need to release the constraints and let some of us good women snatch up, because I know too many good fellows gettin played shoot by my own friends to those men I give permission to grab your balls back and head towards home base because there are good women there that you can most definitely take home to mom. Okay well I just need to express some random a** frustration, not actually frustrated lol but I was just thinking about all my beautiful people that have been hurt lately and I had to make sure I showed them some hope and love. Never stop thinking you'll find someone cause that good man or women is not hard to find, they might just be chained to the wrong person but they'll come around "PROMISE" look up and keep GOD closer than anyone.
Be blessed :)

Is It So Hard?

....so it has been three years and still we are doing the cat and mouse game. Aren't you tired of this already? Is it really that hard to face the facts that lie right in front of your face? What are you fighting that you can't just commit and accept the harsh realities of life? Is it so hard? I mean we are talking about that complicated four letter word and for some reason after three years of this roller coaster ride we keep on getting on for the ride but yet still you fight the passion the power it possess over us both? Yea...no one's perfect I'm not trying to say that I have made life easy for you by any means but that's life right? How boring would it be if everything was merely predictable and we had no spice and sugar? I can't help it so maybe I just need to come out and say it first? Maybe its not about who wears the pants and the skirt in the relationship maybe that's just all fairytale and pixie dust? UGH, so here it goes nothing for the second time you have got me trapped in this damn cage singing that CAGED BIRDS SONG (yes, that was in reference to Maya Angelou) ...well DANMIT I love you!!! Okay there I said it's over you were my first deal, with it ok somehow through all the negative your positives shine through. Through all my frustration I still have some kind of puppy dog weakness in the knees when your around...no matter how confident I get I still look into your eyes and feel myself sweating from every part of me. Well it's like late and I like have class so even though my first blog has been refreshing from such a downer week I hope that people somehow can relate to all my craziness that I will be spitting out from my mind love yea all even though I dont know you and feel free to ask questions.