No Niños, Quiero Un Hombre!

La noche pasado escuche a mi a amiga, after being tortured by someone (who shall not, be named) drenching us with their gibberish and irrevalant discussions, my friend suddenly turned, to me and, said quiero un hombre no quiero niños...I mean come on, do I really have to explain... It's as simple as it translates. No matter how many times we've been ran over, screwed over, abused and misused there's something within every man or women that longs for that companion to make them feel whole again ...complete. Oh so you probably think I'm going to tell you keep believing, and ...I am. You probably think I'm going to tell you to seek God first above all else, and everything will fall into place according to his perfect will and...I am. You even probably already assumed I would tell you, to completely love yourself (does not mean be conceited) because when two whole people come together they can focus on their relationship as a couple without dealing with ”trying to fix each other” and ...I am. That baloney never flies...I hear too many people telling me their significant other broke up with them cause they wanted to "do them”. Yea hello cause they have no idea who they are first of all, over half the time. Anyways my point, simply reverts back to this ”quiero un hombre”, you can want a man;all you want but want God more, seek after becoming a the best version of yourself, so that when you meet that person that makes your butterflies soar you won't be fixing each other you'll be standing strong as one.
*take a second out of your day and think of one thing that can make you better (not, your sister, brother, friend...you) and focus on trying to become the person your looking for is looking for. Be blessed :)

Brand New??

I want to have a positive contribution to women, girls, boys, men, and especially the up and coming generation. I am not satisfied with merely being complacent while people are out there hustling everyday to achieve their dream through whatever means possible whether it's becoming the next Top Chef, or a world famous make-up artist, ALL of our dreams matter. However, this isn't just about the rat race, and dream chasers but the biggest issue I see affecting most young and old people are relationships!! Have you ever gone through something and felt like no one in the world understood what you were going through or has gone through your UNIQUE experience? Well I'm here to tell you that you are NOT alone...being in a relationship, and hearing insane stories from friends, acquaintances, and strangers I have realized a need and healing in allowing people to unload their stories on me without bias or judgment and I want to share these stories (of course not with the names and exact details) but to build a community blog where people can realize they are not alone. Through faith and hope the dreaded four letter word L-O-V-E is possible if you are willing, to open your heart and have faith that God has your back so Let Go and Let God. Our futures are bright cause he has already destined us for greatness. These are some clear and scattered questions I hope to address with this blog. What will we choose to believe?? What will you journey be?? Who will you allow to impact or detract you from your goals? Do you have goals? Are they realistic? Long-term? Short-term? Are you giving yourself, time to heal after a break up?? (Yes, HEAL how can you start a new relationships without learning and accepting the past??) How did you grow after the breakup?? Have you given up one love?? How about those of us in relationships? Does your relationship "just work""?? Is there progress towards a future?? Are you both willing to compromise?? Do you allow each other their independence while growing together?? What is love to you?? These are just few questions I get asked and have heard other people ask however this blog will NOT provide the answers but pray it provides clarity and hope that your knight in shining armor, or queen (not trophy wife) IS out there. With that said welcome and please feel free to contribute and share your stories and happy blogging :)

g2beme089@hotmail.com

Wonder??!!??

I wonder do you think of me? Cause I think about the years I have invested the time emotion and energy and wonder is it worth, it is it worth it to sweat, cry, pant and want to share your life with someone. It is, it's worth it when you find that person that completes you that has become your everything and more without them that other half that soulmate most of us feel lost confused and alone but God hasn't created us to be alone he has already ordained that person that will radically change the course of our life forever it's up to us to make the decision between the ones that stay and make us radically change for the better and those that only bring ya down we have. We make it our prerogative to want more and demand it for we deserve nothing less than the best I sit here wondering how I know all this and remain stuck then I remember I'm apart of real life and it just so happens just cause I write it doesn't mean I don't live it my teachers all throughout college always told me I could write but that I had to stop writing like a journal but I couldn't help it I like to express my thoughts and emotions through this style of writing it makes me who I am so why have I let people redefine me. I don't want to get back to who was, I just want to move on from here to become the beat me and the first step I have taken is loving myself and the skin I'm in.
Blessings.... :)

Why?

...ok so let me start by saying sorry to everyone offended by my last post and its vulgar language....lol SIKE pls this is a blog I ain't sorry for nothing if you can't handle what I got to say keep your eyes off my blog lol jk I love ya'll. On a serious note today was a challenging day in particular because I just wanted to go all types of black on people but thank GOD for his discernment and grace that he continues to give me when I just want to go to town on some people in particular that could really use some tongue lashing (yea...lol that sounded like a grandma) but real talk I don't know why people think I am quiet? I don't know why people think it's okay to say whatever they want without consequences (or getting popped in the face)? Like seriously I don't know why people think it's all gravy to stomp all over your emotions and eat your heart up raw? like ...SERIOUSLY just why? Are you not human, do you not have a heart ? Or a nice bone in your body...now don't play me I am no angel but god forbid that I don't think about people before I speak or act like my true self. I'm starting to think that everyone needs a blog because I think people have taken acting real instead of fake to a whole new level some people need to vent their real self on blogs and leave it there ...hence the start of this blog lol seriously I don't want to see your muff a** true self sometimes being fake is what some people need to do cause their personalities are just too much that's just my opinion ...I mean unless you are apart of the exclusive club DSU I ain't got time for your true self high key I ain't perfect and my true self is even too much for me to handle that's why when I pray instead of just praying for everything and everybody under the sky I pray for my own self cause I got issues just like the next person, but high key this blog was meant to smack talk but I just realized that smack talkin is a WASTE of my time and a waste of yours so get over yourself if someone dont like you. Oh well that means you got someone better waiting around the corner to be a better friend/significant other, or whatever lol but seriously like my mom told me today just kick rocks and show the haters your 32's (teeth lol...i know dont that sound gangster...shh my moms a G lol) and keep it pushing and remember keep him closer than anyone. God always gots your back so right now I let GO and am lettin GOD ...you should do the same much luv.

"To Whom This May Concern"

....so far I have had a rather gratifying day. I have come to terms with my demons and have finally found the truth that I learned doesn't lie so deep within. You see this whole week I've been mopping around complaining about things that really have no relvance in progressing my life forward I mean who am I shrink "so that other people won't feel insecure around me(you). We are all meant to shine, as children do." This quote happens to come from Marianne Williamson's rendition called OUR DEEPEST FEAR, yea so maybe I dont always say or do the right thing but the truth is that doesn't mean that you give up and just throw in the towel on life because believe it or not as soon as you give in the towel life is still continuing on with or without you. Shoot I don't know about you but I will not be left behind in this journey waiting MY journey that is life. I use the moment to acknowledge life in all its beauty and I stand in awe of the life that GOD has given me, blessed to be able to say that I'm still standing. It's interesting because I never thought that writing on some dumba** blogspot would be so releaving but it truly has opened me up to a whole other side of myself that I always knew was there but have kept hidden for so long. Yes I love people, the ones who love me back, the ones that cause me pain, the ones that I have hurt, but the truth is I can't continue to let myself get consumed by ignorance and malice that I myself fall apart. Sometimes growing up means moving on and figuring out that life is more than hiding under your makeup stained pillow w/ Mr. Burger nestled under your arms yes its time to turn off the music and wiggle your toes out of bed and walk out into your destiny ... your life awaits GET UP AND SEIZE THE DAY!!! Well until next time I love you all, GOD is love! :)

Is It So Hard?

....so it has been three years and still we are doing the cat and mouse game. Aren't you tired of this already? Is it really that hard to face the facts that lie right in front of your face? What are you fighting that you can't just commit and accept the harsh realities of life? Is it so hard? I mean we are talking about that complicated four letter word and for some reason after three years of this roller coaster ride we keep on getting on for the ride but yet still you fight the passion the power it possess over us both? Yea...no one's perfect I'm not trying to say that I have made life easy for you by any means but that's life right? How boring would it be if everything was merely predictable and we had no spice and sugar? I can't help it so maybe I just need to come out and say it first? Maybe its not about who wears the pants and the skirt in the relationship maybe that's just all fairytale and pixie dust? UGH, so here it goes nothing for the second time you have got me trapped in this damn cage singing that CAGED BIRDS SONG (yes, that was in reference to Maya Angelou) ...well DANMIT I love you!!! Okay there I said it's over you were my first deal, with it ok somehow through all the negative your positives shine through. Through all my frustration I still have some kind of puppy dog weakness in the knees when your around...no matter how confident I get I still look into your eyes and feel myself sweating from every part of me. Well it's like late and I like have class so even though my first blog has been refreshing from such a downer week I hope that people somehow can relate to all my craziness that I will be spitting out from my mind love yea all even though I dont know you and feel free to ask questions.