No Niños, Quiero Un Hombre!

La noche pasado escuche a mi a amiga, after being tortured by someone (who shall not, be named) drenching us with their gibberish and irrevalant discussions, my friend suddenly turned, to me and, said quiero un hombre no quiero niños...I mean come on, do I really have to explain... It's as simple as it translates. No matter how many times we've been ran over, screwed over, abused and misused there's something within every man or women that longs for that companion to make them feel whole again ...complete. Oh so you probably think I'm going to tell you keep believing, and ...I am. You probably think I'm going to tell you to seek God first above all else, and everything will fall into place according to his perfect will and...I am. You even probably already assumed I would tell you, to completely love yourself (does not mean be conceited) because when two whole people come together they can focus on their relationship as a couple without dealing with ”trying to fix each other” and ...I am. That baloney never flies...I hear too many people telling me their significant other broke up with them cause they wanted to "do them”. Yea hello cause they have no idea who they are first of all, over half the time. Anyways my point, simply reverts back to this ”quiero un hombre”, you can want a man;all you want but want God more, seek after becoming a the best version of yourself, so that when you meet that person that makes your butterflies soar you won't be fixing each other you'll be standing strong as one.
*take a second out of your day and think of one thing that can make you better (not, your sister, brother, friend...you) and focus on trying to become the person your looking for is looking for. Be blessed :)

True Friendship

I have come across this quote quite a few times, "we are able to be apart for months or years at a time, but when we get back together, it's as if nothing has changed" that is how I felt after seeing some of my closest friends after not seeing them close to a year. It is really amazing to see the strong bonds that we as people form with strangers when we are off to college. We all went through this journey that was new to all of us and experienced situations that were completely new to us, where we lost, and gained friends. Seeing all my friends after a long time made me realize that I am very fortunate to have this great support system that is behind me 100% and I am not alone no matter what is going on. However, not all people are as fortunate as I am in the friend department, there are those friends who cannot stand to see their friends succeed and try to make every situation about themselves. One thing that I sometimes do not comprehend is why are people like that? Why do  they feel the need to bring their friends down because they are not succeeding in life, and their friends are. It just amazes me that no matter the outcome there will always be those friends who will always be there to bring down people, and will make people not talk about their bright future. I guess if I were in that situation I would kind of feel down because I'd be stuck in the same place, while my friends where progressing in their studies, career, etc. but that does not give me any type of right to bring everyone down with me. I know how it feels to be in limbo on not know what is going to happen or not having something set in stone for the future, but what separates me from those other types of friends is that I took all the advice I could from friends who were succeeding and I was genuinely happy for all their fortunes. After I graduated from UCR, I knew that I had to go to grad school for what I wanted to do, but I felt that my gpa was too low to be accepted to any program. But having the support from all the great friends that I have, and having faith in God and knowing that he would provide that I finally was accepted into grad school. I believe it is always important to have friends that are there for you no matter what, the type of friends who are happy for you when you are succeeding, and who are willing to give you a shoulder to cry on when you need it. So I guess what I am trying to say is the moment you find that true friendship hold on to it, and never let go haha. Seriously though only true friends are willing to let go of the past and move forward and forgive and forget of the things that at one point may have drove you apart. On that note be nice to people because you never know what role an individual may have in changing your life.

-Love E

Their Perspective

...So I was sitting at our school commons minding my own business with the home girl (actually not minding my own business but i tried) anyways and I hear some guy rantting and raving pouring out his heart felt emotions on the poor deaf ears of a girl who just wanted to eat her pasta lol. Well before I crack on the poor boy let me tell you what my ease droppin ears caught on to.."boys have feelings" who knew I mean why do they hide them? Why does it take some drastic act of God to bring out the person we try to see for days, months, years? I mean how can I feel bad for you when you wait til' the girl has left your crack for something better for you to come pouring out your emotions cause you lost that one thing that actually made you feel like a person of worth I mean where will you ever find that person with her smile, personality or swagger? But I mean I do get one thing that he said were only 20 I mean its like 20 is the new 10 we think that were so young that we can't obtain this level of commitment to anything but honestly if you can't commit now when will the time ever be right? Get it together? She cheated on you ...if you knew the one ”ya way shalom” you wouldnt be stuck pouring out salty crocidile tears over a girl whose already found a new car to park in her garage. Yes I said it!! She ain't coming back but that don't mean that its the end of the world my nigga it's just the beginning...now that she has given you your wings back, soar to your potential...I think with girls we get so caught up in talk about ya'll that we forget that life is full of so much more than just hotdogs and sixpacks theres a whole world out there ready for us to obtain
Be blessed :)

Why?

...ok so let me start by saying sorry to everyone offended by my last post and its vulgar language....lol SIKE pls this is a blog I ain't sorry for nothing if you can't handle what I got to say keep your eyes off my blog lol jk I love ya'll. On a serious note today was a challenging day in particular because I just wanted to go all types of black on people but thank GOD for his discernment and grace that he continues to give me when I just want to go to town on some people in particular that could really use some tongue lashing (yea...lol that sounded like a grandma) but real talk I don't know why people think I am quiet? I don't know why people think it's okay to say whatever they want without consequences (or getting popped in the face)? Like seriously I don't know why people think it's all gravy to stomp all over your emotions and eat your heart up raw? like ...SERIOUSLY just why? Are you not human, do you not have a heart ? Or a nice bone in your body...now don't play me I am no angel but god forbid that I don't think about people before I speak or act like my true self. I'm starting to think that everyone needs a blog because I think people have taken acting real instead of fake to a whole new level some people need to vent their real self on blogs and leave it there ...hence the start of this blog lol seriously I don't want to see your muff a** true self sometimes being fake is what some people need to do cause their personalities are just too much that's just my opinion ...I mean unless you are apart of the exclusive club DSU I ain't got time for your true self high key I ain't perfect and my true self is even too much for me to handle that's why when I pray instead of just praying for everything and everybody under the sky I pray for my own self cause I got issues just like the next person, but high key this blog was meant to smack talk but I just realized that smack talkin is a WASTE of my time and a waste of yours so get over yourself if someone dont like you. Oh well that means you got someone better waiting around the corner to be a better friend/significant other, or whatever lol but seriously like my mom told me today just kick rocks and show the haters your 32's (teeth lol...i know dont that sound gangster...shh my moms a G lol) and keep it pushing and remember keep him closer than anyone. God always gots your back so right now I let GO and am lettin GOD ...you should do the same much luv.

My Nigga

... my nigga (yes I said it) let me repeat myself my nigga, what makes you think it's okay to play with our emotions? What makes you think that because you got balls you can throw them to whatever base you want (yes I said that and lol)? I mean seriously though what makes you think it's okay to have a "sudden" epiphany, change of heart, or period of confusion. Whatever you niggas like to call that crap...look all I got to say is shoot ya'll niggas keep playing your games because THE NON NIGGA I have been lookin for is right around the corner ready to take your place, ready to wine and dine my fine behind, and I ain't talking about no 24-hr drive through McDonalds before the night is over booty call type of dining. I'm talkin about the type of dining niggas drop they jaw for when you happen to see my fine a** on facebook with a non-nigga who knows how to keep his lol. So everyone's probably like wtf am I reading all this gibberish about niggas...man if you dont know what I am talking about AMEN to you, but to girls stuck (or who dont realize they deserve better) you most definitely know of this nigga type I am talking about..but dont play me I am no nigga hater because I stand corrected I love my men and mine in particular has just been slipping out of this nigga behavior so definitely props to him :) but this aint about him this is about all my friends who come crying to me waterfall tears about their damnn nigga a** boyfriends. Man obviously they need to be left exactly as you found them lil "boy's" that happen to be your "friend" .... wait, wait and I got a word for my good men who get played by girls who still playing tricks and running games please please let them heffas know that tricks are for kids and if they don't trust you, they need to release the constraints and let some of us good women snatch up, because I know too many good fellows gettin played shoot by my own friends to those men I give permission to grab your balls back and head towards home base because there are good women there that you can most definitely take home to mom. Okay well I just need to express some random a** frustration, not actually frustrated lol but I was just thinking about all my beautiful people that have been hurt lately and I had to make sure I showed them some hope and love. Never stop thinking you'll find someone cause that good man or women is not hard to find, they might just be chained to the wrong person but they'll come around "PROMISE" look up and keep GOD closer than anyone.
Be blessed :)

Is It So Hard?

....so it has been three years and still we are doing the cat and mouse game. Aren't you tired of this already? Is it really that hard to face the facts that lie right in front of your face? What are you fighting that you can't just commit and accept the harsh realities of life? Is it so hard? I mean we are talking about that complicated four letter word and for some reason after three years of this roller coaster ride we keep on getting on for the ride but yet still you fight the passion the power it possess over us both? Yea...no one's perfect I'm not trying to say that I have made life easy for you by any means but that's life right? How boring would it be if everything was merely predictable and we had no spice and sugar? I can't help it so maybe I just need to come out and say it first? Maybe its not about who wears the pants and the skirt in the relationship maybe that's just all fairytale and pixie dust? UGH, so here it goes nothing for the second time you have got me trapped in this damn cage singing that CAGED BIRDS SONG (yes, that was in reference to Maya Angelou) ...well DANMIT I love you!!! Okay there I said it's over you were my first deal, with it ok somehow through all the negative your positives shine through. Through all my frustration I still have some kind of puppy dog weakness in the knees when your around...no matter how confident I get I still look into your eyes and feel myself sweating from every part of me. Well it's like late and I like have class so even though my first blog has been refreshing from such a downer week I hope that people somehow can relate to all my craziness that I will be spitting out from my mind love yea all even though I dont know you and feel free to ask questions.